The 6 agreements

The 6 agreements offer a social architecture intended to invite wisdom into our dialogues and conversations. Like any game or sport, I noticed how much practice it required to develop skill and appreciate its potential. Today, many groups around the world use the six agreements in their interactions when they seek governance guided by wisdom.

1. A deep breath before speaking

I do not say a word before taking a long and deep breath. This breath helps me release the urgent need to control the conversation, allowing what wants to emerge from the center to appear. By doing so, I give myself time and space to contemplate the present moment and what moves inside me. I open to what the other person just said, deeply, even if I feel strong disagreement. I can even “breathe in” the words of the other within myself, establishing a peace detached from the tensions that stir me. This shifts me from reaction (responding, reacting…) to creation, where unexpected possibilities reveal themselves to my awareness. I notice that when I speak one after another without space for breath, the “small self” and the automatic pilot tend to take back control.

2. Listening to the center

Listening to the center means opening myself to what emerges from a collective, regardless of its size or configuration. I listen to the group’s voice and offer it my full attention. This specific way of listening connects me to others and gives me a sense of unity.

3. Speaking to the center

I address the center rather than a specific person in the group. This helps me avoid creating a private exchange in the middle of a collective process. Although speaking and listening to the center may feel slightly artificial at first, this practice supports the emergence of the whole and allows me to move toward a transpersonal context.

4. Not taking the floor, receiving it as a gift

The (apparent) scarcity of time invites me to use this resource wisely and share it well. In groups where people interrupt and respond without pause, we may behave like predators — the strongest, quickest, or cleverest person grabs the largest share. Receiving the floor as a gift activates the economy of giving, just like when I sit at a table and share food in a spirit of friendliness and kindness.

5. Speaking from direct experience

Sharing my personal experience invites courage, vulnerability, trust, and compassion. When I speak theoretically, I disconnect from my original experience and project a “theory of the world” onto others. This creates a barrier between myself and others. I check whether any generalization I prepare to make might hide a personal story — usually much richer. Stories carry the power of myths — they transmit emotions, life experiences on many levels, cosmologies, vibrations — a universe far richer to share with the group.

6. Inviting silence

I may request silence at any moment (I might use a gong or a bell). The conversation pauses, and we enter a minute of silent breathing. This silence brings a gift: the space to explore the situation more deeply, to invite new words, to feel my emotions, to listen to my needs, and to contact what wants to emerge in the group. After this silent space ends, I may choose — or not — to explain my request. The conversation then resumes, often infused with a new dimension.

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